Traveler Lite
Humor
An elderly woman wakes up one morning and finds that the nearby river has overflowed and flooded her entire house. She cannot even go downstairs because the water has risen above the first floor. As she leans out her second-story window she see that the water is still rising. A man in a rowboat happens to pass by, and he yells, "Jump in! I'll save you!" "No, thank you," says the woman, "The Lord will provide." "All right, lady, suit yourself," and he rows on. The water continues to rise, and the old woman climbs up onto the roof. Another boat with two men in it passes by. One of the men yells, "Get in lady! We'll save you!" Again, the woman replies, "No, thank you. The Lord will provide." The water continues to rise with a swift current, and the woman climbs up onto the chimney. Suddenly a helicopter appears overhead and a rope is dropped. A man in the helicopter shouts with a blow horn, "Put the rope around your body lady! We'll save you." But the woman steadfastly refuses and is soon washed away by the current and drowned. As she arrives in heaven, the woman is furious and demands to see God. When she is brought before him she says, "Hey! What happened? I put all of my faith in you and you let me down!" God replies, "For cryin' out loud lady, I sent two boats and a helicopter!"
Brain Teaser
Q: A farmers is going to a local market with a large basket of cabbage, a goat and a domesticated pet wolf. After a while he comes to a small river that must be crossed, and there is a small boat that is only large enough for him and one of his three belongings. In other words, he can only take one item at a time across the river. He then must return to pick up the second and third. So, he is faced with a dilemma: If he takes the wolf first, the goat will eat the cabbage. If he takes the cabbage, the wolf might eat the goat. Explain exactly how the farmer should transport his property across the river without losing any of it.
Answer to April Brain Teaser
Q: At 3:00 p.m. an eleven year-old boy and his father are returning home in their car when a truck crosses the center line and slams head on into their car. The farther, who is not wearing a seat belt, is propelled through the windshield landing on the road where he is killed instantly. The boy, who is wearing a set belt, is alive but badly injured. At 3:10 an ambulance arrives at the accident scene and picks up the boy. At 3:20 the ambulance arrives at the hospital emergency room with the boy. It is determined that the boy needs surgery immediately. So, at 3:30 the boy is taken into the operating room. When the doctor walks into the room and looks at the boy's face, the doctor is in shock. With trembling hands, the doctor says, "I... I cannot operate on this boy... because hi is my son!" Who is the doctor, i.e., what is the relationship between the doctor and the boy?
A: The doctor is the boy's mother.
"Quotable
Quotes"
On being brief...
"If you can't write
your idea on the back of my calling card, you don't have a clear idea."
-
David Belasco (1853-1931)
"Few sinners are
saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon."
-Mark
Twain (1835-1910)
"My father gave me
these hints on speech-making: 'Be sincere... be brief... be seated.'"
-
James Roosevelt (1907-1991)
"Brevity is the soul
of wit."
-
William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
SPECIAL
FEATURE
Human Rights Falling
Through the Cracks in Japan
Japan "Justice" Ministry tearing Japanese children apart from gaijin dad